The semester (and the year!) is almost over. I can't believe it. It's the end of 2007, and will soon be 2008. I remember when people were freaking out that it was about to be 2000, and it doesn't seem like it was all that long ago. I can't believe it's been eight years.
I've just about finished all of my work other than tests, and I can tell you that I am so happy with that. Tests, I can do with no problem. I have a paper for Mr. A's class, but that's no problem. I've done the ride-along (did I talk about that in here? My ride-along with the Sherriff's Department? It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be), and all I have to do is write about the experience. It's not due until the 26th, but I may turn it in on Monday.
My Marketing paper is finished, thank goodness. I made an A. All I have, paper wise, is my Criminology paper. Well, that and essays 5 and 6 for this class, but that's nothing compared to the 5-6 page paper for Dr. P. Oh well.
I can't believe this semester is almost over. I have nine classes after this, and then I'm graduating. And I've got it all planned out, too. I have to take Spanish 1 in the summer in order to do it, but I'll be able to graduate Dec 08.
I can't believe it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Of course, I'm going to turn around and start my Masters program, so it's not like I'm really going to be leaving school, but I'm going to have a college degree. I'm going to be the first person in my immediate family to do so.
I still can't believe it.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Typically, when there's nothing on television, I find a true crime show and let it play. I don't always pay attention, but I find them interesting (except they feed my natural sense of suspicion and paranoia - this is the result of growing up with a dad who was a cop). Anyway, lately I've been trying to watch something different. There's a really good show on Discovery called "Mars Rising" and it's about the United States' plan to send a man to Mars. There have been a couple of other space shows on, and I love that kind of stuff.
So the other day, I was telling my aunt about it, and I posed the question that really does bother me. We put a man on the moon in 1969. 1969! That was almost forty years ago. We put a man on the moon in 1969, but now, in 2007, it doesn't even seem like we can get a ship off the ground without something falling off, or breaking, or some other horrible catastrophe happening that devastates the Space Program. When I was in elementary school, I watched Challenger blow up a minute and some change into take-off. That moment changed my life. And how can we forget Columbia, just a couple of years ago? The fallout from that landed in our backyard.
How is it that we can put a man on in the moon in 1969, with so little technology, and now we're having more problems than ever?
My aunt started laughing and said "You know, your uncle Ted thinks it was all a hoax. He doesn't think there ever was a man on the moon."
I laughed. It was such an outrageous idea. No man on the moon!? How can that be possible? This is something I have known my entire thirty-one years on earth. There have been men on the moon. But then… the doubts started to creep in and I started doing research.
Wikipedia is one of my favorite places online. I can spend hours there, following links. After doing a Google search and finding a few pages, I finally settled in to read Apollo Moon Landing hoax accusations. It's ridiculous, I know.
…right?
There are some compelling arguments. My first and biggest thing—how did we have the technology to put a man on the moon in 1969? I just can't imagine that we could, back then.
Some of the other reasons for the hoax that were mentioned in this article are:
The Race Between the United States and Russia - Russia was also trying to put a man on the moon, and some people speculated they were a little ahead of us, having quite a few firsts, including: first living creature in space, first man in space, first man to orbit the earth, and a few others. We were in the middle of the Cold War and we wanted to win.
Distraction - some people believe the US "went to the moon" to distract the citizens from the Vietnam War. It's also been pointed out that lunar activities ceased as soon as the US pulled out of the war. However, others say that the program had been cancelled before the war ended. This is really half a dozen, six of another – it could go both ways. Though it certainly is interesting.
Risk - at one point, it was said that the chances of successfully landing on the moon was 0.017%. Those odds don't sound too good to me.
To Save Face - In 1961, Kennedy announced to the world that we would be on the moon before the decade was out. And on July 20, in the last year of the decade, we set foot on the moon.
There are other things that make people believe it never happened: pictures, shadows, missing data – the article is very interesting, and I would highly suggest reading it if conspiracy theories interest you. Do I think we landed on the moon? Yeah, for the most part I do. I can't help the doubts that linger though, and have changed the way I look at the world.
So the other day, I was telling my aunt about it, and I posed the question that really does bother me. We put a man on the moon in 1969. 1969! That was almost forty years ago. We put a man on the moon in 1969, but now, in 2007, it doesn't even seem like we can get a ship off the ground without something falling off, or breaking, or some other horrible catastrophe happening that devastates the Space Program. When I was in elementary school, I watched Challenger blow up a minute and some change into take-off. That moment changed my life. And how can we forget Columbia, just a couple of years ago? The fallout from that landed in our backyard.
How is it that we can put a man on in the moon in 1969, with so little technology, and now we're having more problems than ever?
My aunt started laughing and said "You know, your uncle Ted thinks it was all a hoax. He doesn't think there ever was a man on the moon."
I laughed. It was such an outrageous idea. No man on the moon!? How can that be possible? This is something I have known my entire thirty-one years on earth. There have been men on the moon. But then… the doubts started to creep in and I started doing research.
Wikipedia is one of my favorite places online. I can spend hours there, following links. After doing a Google search and finding a few pages, I finally settled in to read Apollo Moon Landing hoax accusations. It's ridiculous, I know.
…right?
There are some compelling arguments. My first and biggest thing—how did we have the technology to put a man on the moon in 1969? I just can't imagine that we could, back then.
Some of the other reasons for the hoax that were mentioned in this article are:
The Race Between the United States and Russia - Russia was also trying to put a man on the moon, and some people speculated they were a little ahead of us, having quite a few firsts, including: first living creature in space, first man in space, first man to orbit the earth, and a few others. We were in the middle of the Cold War and we wanted to win.
Distraction - some people believe the US "went to the moon" to distract the citizens from the Vietnam War. It's also been pointed out that lunar activities ceased as soon as the US pulled out of the war. However, others say that the program had been cancelled before the war ended. This is really half a dozen, six of another – it could go both ways. Though it certainly is interesting.
Risk - at one point, it was said that the chances of successfully landing on the moon was 0.017%. Those odds don't sound too good to me.
To Save Face - In 1961, Kennedy announced to the world that we would be on the moon before the decade was out. And on July 20, in the last year of the decade, we set foot on the moon.
There are other things that make people believe it never happened: pictures, shadows, missing data – the article is very interesting, and I would highly suggest reading it if conspiracy theories interest you. Do I think we landed on the moon? Yeah, for the most part I do. I can't help the doubts that linger though, and have changed the way I look at the world.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
It's Halloween. I'm not dressing up or doing anything Halloween-ey; it's a nice holiday but it's not my favorite. I have a test tonight, and I'll go swing by my grandmother's on the way home, but I have no big plans.
However, when reading through the articles at slate.com, I found this article and thought it sounded interesting. The law has always interested me; that's why I'm in the Criminal Justice field.
The crux of the article is that legally, politicians and celebrities cannot sue for using their likeness as Halloween costumes or tee-shirts or other items like that. Part of the reason is because there is a bit of distortion - you know it's the person, but there's a change there. It isn't a dead on replica.
As the article states, there is the Right of Publicity, but that only states that the public figure has the right to keep their likeness out of such things as advertising campaigns. You could be Hillary Clinton for Halloween, but you can't slap a sticker of her face on a billboard for Cingular and have her trying to talk you into buying cell phones. Not unless she had endorsed the product.
Basically, only when attached to a product commercially can you not use a public figure's face. Which makes sense to me.
I still wouldn't dress up like Hillary Clinton for Halloween, though.
However, when reading through the articles at slate.com, I found this article and thought it sounded interesting. The law has always interested me; that's why I'm in the Criminal Justice field.
The crux of the article is that legally, politicians and celebrities cannot sue for using their likeness as Halloween costumes or tee-shirts or other items like that. Part of the reason is because there is a bit of distortion - you know it's the person, but there's a change there. It isn't a dead on replica.
As the article states, there is the Right of Publicity, but that only states that the public figure has the right to keep their likeness out of such things as advertising campaigns. You could be Hillary Clinton for Halloween, but you can't slap a sticker of her face on a billboard for Cingular and have her trying to talk you into buying cell phones. Not unless she had endorsed the product.
Basically, only when attached to a product commercially can you not use a public figure's face. Which makes sense to me.
I still wouldn't dress up like Hillary Clinton for Halloween, though.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Well, I took my Criminology test last night. I made a B, which is fine, but I'm kind of down about it. It's not really that big of a deal. If I make an A on my paper in that class (I've never made below a 93 on her papers) and a B or above on the test, I still have an A.
I can't help it, I like straight A's.
\\
God. I'm so tired today. I think it's because it's mostly the changing of the seasons. I want to hibernate now, because there's less light during the day. I both love and hate the winter. Love because I love it when it's cool and we have to bundle up, but I hate it because I want to sleep all the time, all bundled it. It's a catch-22.
I'm going to my mom's this weekend, and that should be fun. I was going to leave tonight, but I'm too tired. I probably could do it, but I don't want to drive when it's dark. And honestly, I want to go home and just chill for a night. Next week will be a good week; I've got no class Monday, I'm off Tuesday, and we have a test on Wednesday. That's basically three nights with no class.
I'm so going to enjoy it.
I think I'm going to go shopping tonight. I don't know what I want, though I can say it is killing me not to own the iTouch. I don't even know why I want one, other than it's the coolest thing ever, hands down. The screen is so big!
Like I ever have time to watch anything on an iTouch. If I'm not at home sitting in front of my television, I'm doing homework. (Note to self: Work on papers this weekend, don't fall behind!) See? I'm going on a trip and what will I be doing? Studying. That is the real reason why I haven't spent the money on an iTouch or a Zune or any of the other video mp3 players. It's so impractical for me right now.
God, it would be sweet though…
I can't help it, I like straight A's.
\\
God. I'm so tired today. I think it's because it's mostly the changing of the seasons. I want to hibernate now, because there's less light during the day. I both love and hate the winter. Love because I love it when it's cool and we have to bundle up, but I hate it because I want to sleep all the time, all bundled it. It's a catch-22.
I'm going to my mom's this weekend, and that should be fun. I was going to leave tonight, but I'm too tired. I probably could do it, but I don't want to drive when it's dark. And honestly, I want to go home and just chill for a night. Next week will be a good week; I've got no class Monday, I'm off Tuesday, and we have a test on Wednesday. That's basically three nights with no class.
I'm so going to enjoy it.
I think I'm going to go shopping tonight. I don't know what I want, though I can say it is killing me not to own the iTouch. I don't even know why I want one, other than it's the coolest thing ever, hands down. The screen is so big!
Like I ever have time to watch anything on an iTouch. If I'm not at home sitting in front of my television, I'm doing homework. (Note to self: Work on papers this weekend, don't fall behind!) See? I'm going on a trip and what will I be doing? Studying. That is the real reason why I haven't spent the money on an iTouch or a Zune or any of the other video mp3 players. It's so impractical for me right now.
God, it would be sweet though…
Thursday, October 18, 2007
What You Should Be Watching
As I was driving to work this morning, I was thinking of all the things I could talk about in my journal for this week. I went over the notebook entries in my head, and - like usual - I'm not going to go with anything I've talked about yet.
So I thought I'd talk about the TV shows I'm watching this season. That's always a good thing to talk about; everyone watches some kind of television. Mostly. I met a woman at Wal-Mart when I was buying my new TV a couple of months ago that said she hasn't watched any television since her son went to Iraq. Admirable. I couldn't do it.
Monday
How I Met Your Mother
I'm about two weeks behind on this show, but oh god, this show makes me laugh so hard. I've loved Alyson Hannigan since My Step-Mother is an Alien, and I was crazy about "Buffy." And there are no words for how much I love Neil Patrick Harris. It's Doogie, you guys. Barney is the best character that has ever been written on a show, ever. I laugh during every scene he's in. The whole cast is great, and it's very much an ensemble show, which you don't always expect from a thirty-minute sitcom.
Heroes
I started watching this show in the summer, when I got a hold of all of the episodes and watched them in the period of about three or four days. Oh god, this show had my heart in my throat so many times. I love Milo Ventagamsldkfj (really, I can never remember his last name) and Adrian Pasdar is just yum. Another ensemble cast, and they do pretty good with it, for the most part. Everyone has some sort of power and it's interesting to see how they work it into real life. The second season is interesting so far, but it isn't gripping me like it did last season - though I think it's going to start. It's still really, really good. The only big problem I have with the show this season is that they were talking about Louisiana and said we lived in counties.
Tuesday
No TV tonight (actually, catch up on TV that is on my DVR, which is everything). I used to watch "Bones," but I cut it out because I have too much other TV. I cut out "CSI: Miami" and "CSI: Vegas", also, and "Criminal Minds." I still catch "CSI: NY" on occasion, but I don't have to see it. (I'm not linking all those, sigh).
Wednesday
America's Next Top Model
Yeah. A friend got me hooked on this and now I can't get enough. I am a reality show whore anyway, and this just feeds my obsession. One of the girls on there, Heather, has a mild form of autism, so she is very social awkward. But god, she is stunning. I really hope she wins.
I'm supposed to be watching "Private Practice" tonight, too, because my current favorite actor's wife is in the cast (the actor is Jason Behr, his wife is KaDee Strickland), but I can't watch it. I really don't like hospital shows (Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc).
I also watch CSI: NY, but I've missed a couple of episodes. I did see it last night though, it was really good. Plus, Kerr Smith has a reoccurring guest star spot this season, and I like him. He plays creepy well.
Thursday
Survivor: China
Reality show whore. Need I say more?
I have to turn away when they start eating gross stuff though.
I've already talked about CSI: Vegas and how I gave it up for some sense of time when I'm not trying to catch up on my TV shows.
Friday
Hands down, this is my favorite night of the week.
Moonlight
Lovelovelovelove this show. I watched it because I was waiting for the season premiere of Numb3rs, and I was hooked. I've always loved the vampire genre. Some people yell that it's too much like Angel, some yell that it's too Forever Knight, but I don't care. I am in love with this show. I still have to watch last week's episode.
Numb3rs
I think this is probably my favorite. I love the math, and I love the relationship between the Eppes Brothers. David Krumholtz and Rob Morrow are both fantastic actors, and it shows on screen. And did I mention I really love the math?
And Colby. Oh my Colby. Sigh, all summer I couldn't wait to find out what Colby's story was - is he a spy, is he not a spy! I was crying by the end of last season's episode and I was crying but the end of this season's premiere. Such a great, great show.
So I have all this TV I watch; I record it all on my DVR. I'm almost caught up from last week; I still have to watch Moonlight and Numb3rs. I need to do that by tomorrow night. Don't ask me how I get all this in. I did have to cut out so many shows.
The sad this is most of the time I'm not even paying attention to the television, I just have it on Court TV or Discovery Times. I love true crime shows.
And thus ends the geekiest post I've ever written for this class.
So I thought I'd talk about the TV shows I'm watching this season. That's always a good thing to talk about; everyone watches some kind of television. Mostly. I met a woman at Wal-Mart when I was buying my new TV a couple of months ago that said she hasn't watched any television since her son went to Iraq. Admirable. I couldn't do it.
Monday
How I Met Your Mother
I'm about two weeks behind on this show, but oh god, this show makes me laugh so hard. I've loved Alyson Hannigan since My Step-Mother is an Alien, and I was crazy about "Buffy." And there are no words for how much I love Neil Patrick Harris. It's Doogie, you guys. Barney is the best character that has ever been written on a show, ever. I laugh during every scene he's in. The whole cast is great, and it's very much an ensemble show, which you don't always expect from a thirty-minute sitcom.
Heroes
I started watching this show in the summer, when I got a hold of all of the episodes and watched them in the period of about three or four days. Oh god, this show had my heart in my throat so many times. I love Milo Ventagamsldkfj (really, I can never remember his last name) and Adrian Pasdar is just yum. Another ensemble cast, and they do pretty good with it, for the most part. Everyone has some sort of power and it's interesting to see how they work it into real life. The second season is interesting so far, but it isn't gripping me like it did last season - though I think it's going to start. It's still really, really good. The only big problem I have with the show this season is that they were talking about Louisiana and said we lived in counties.
Tuesday
No TV tonight (actually, catch up on TV that is on my DVR, which is everything). I used to watch "Bones," but I cut it out because I have too much other TV. I cut out "CSI: Miami" and "CSI: Vegas", also, and "Criminal Minds." I still catch "CSI: NY" on occasion, but I don't have to see it. (I'm not linking all those, sigh).
Wednesday
America's Next Top Model
Yeah. A friend got me hooked on this and now I can't get enough. I am a reality show whore anyway, and this just feeds my obsession. One of the girls on there, Heather, has a mild form of autism, so she is very social awkward. But god, she is stunning. I really hope she wins.
I'm supposed to be watching "Private Practice" tonight, too, because my current favorite actor's wife is in the cast (the actor is Jason Behr, his wife is KaDee Strickland), but I can't watch it. I really don't like hospital shows (Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc).
I also watch CSI: NY, but I've missed a couple of episodes. I did see it last night though, it was really good. Plus, Kerr Smith has a reoccurring guest star spot this season, and I like him. He plays creepy well.
Thursday
Survivor: China
Reality show whore. Need I say more?
I have to turn away when they start eating gross stuff though.
I've already talked about CSI: Vegas and how I gave it up for some sense of time when I'm not trying to catch up on my TV shows.
Friday
Hands down, this is my favorite night of the week.
Moonlight
Lovelovelovelove this show. I watched it because I was waiting for the season premiere of Numb3rs, and I was hooked. I've always loved the vampire genre. Some people yell that it's too much like Angel, some yell that it's too Forever Knight, but I don't care. I am in love with this show. I still have to watch last week's episode.
Numb3rs
I think this is probably my favorite. I love the math, and I love the relationship between the Eppes Brothers. David Krumholtz and Rob Morrow are both fantastic actors, and it shows on screen. And did I mention I really love the math?
And Colby. Oh my Colby. Sigh, all summer I couldn't wait to find out what Colby's story was - is he a spy, is he not a spy! I was crying by the end of last season's episode and I was crying but the end of this season's premiere. Such a great, great show.
So I have all this TV I watch; I record it all on my DVR. I'm almost caught up from last week; I still have to watch Moonlight and Numb3rs. I need to do that by tomorrow night. Don't ask me how I get all this in. I did have to cut out so many shows.
The sad this is most of the time I'm not even paying attention to the television, I just have it on Court TV or Discovery Times. I love true crime shows.
And thus ends the geekiest post I've ever written for this class.
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Week In Review
It's Friday. Thank God. This has been one of the busiest weeks I can remember. I've been getting to bed earlier, though, so I'm not so exhausted anymore. This is nice.
Monday
Monday was a bad day. I didn't feel good Monday at all. I'd consumed too much coffee, maybe; I'm not really sure what it was. I just know that I felt horrible. I had a test that night in my police process class. I studied, but I didn't have everything, so there are a few questions I was very iffy about. Sometimes the way he words his questions, you can figure out the answers, and I'm hoping that in those situations I figured them out well. I'm thinking high B or low A. I know some people wouldn't even fret if they made a B, but I've made exactly one B since I've been back in school. I do not want to make one here, on his test in an easy class. I keep checking moodle obsessively, but he hasn't posted the grades yet.
Also, he showed us a video that really disturbed me. You didn't see anything, just heard everything, but what it boils down to is that he showed us a video from a dashboard cam where a trooper was killed in a traffic stop. I'm still haunted by that, four days later. Cops run in my family. My dad was one, my step-brother is. My uncle and my brother are sheriff deputies, though my brother is trying to get on with city police. I can't stop thinking about them.
Tuesday
Tuesday was horrible. I didn't get any sleep Monday night, so Tuesday was spent exhausted. My skin was crawling all day. I spent a little time with my grandmother after work, and then went home to relax and go to bed.
Wednesday
Was much, much better. I really love my Marketing class, but by the time he let us out at 8:50, I was dead tired. I wrote my speech for Thursday's class though, before class started and during break. My phone was almost dead so I didn't get to listen to my music.
Thursday
I had a speech last night. It went fine; I was the last one to present, so she didn't ask any questions. My friend said I did fine on it, but I was so, so nervous. I always am. She said she couldn't hear my voice shaking, which is amazing, because I always do. I wonder if I become a teacher, if I'll be that nervous all the time? Me and my friend went to eat dinner afterward, and that was cool. We're making plans to meet next week to study since we don't have class.
Oh, and I'd forgotten: I had a nail in my tire when I walked out of my house Thursday morning. It was too close to the sidewall, so I had to get a whole new tire. That wasn't fun, but it was something that had to be done.
Friday
It's Friday. I didn't want to get up this morning, but I did. I've been busy this morning, working on homework and I am almost caught up. I still have to finish my Reading Summaries for Sunday (two of four done!) and… I have a couple of papers I want to start this weekend if I can. I don't want to really do anything this weekend but catch up on my television, but I don't think I'll be lucky enough for that to happen.
Drinks with the girls tonight and five o'clock can't come fast enough.
Monday
Monday was a bad day. I didn't feel good Monday at all. I'd consumed too much coffee, maybe; I'm not really sure what it was. I just know that I felt horrible. I had a test that night in my police process class. I studied, but I didn't have everything, so there are a few questions I was very iffy about. Sometimes the way he words his questions, you can figure out the answers, and I'm hoping that in those situations I figured them out well. I'm thinking high B or low A. I know some people wouldn't even fret if they made a B, but I've made exactly one B since I've been back in school. I do not want to make one here, on his test in an easy class. I keep checking moodle obsessively, but he hasn't posted the grades yet.
Also, he showed us a video that really disturbed me. You didn't see anything, just heard everything, but what it boils down to is that he showed us a video from a dashboard cam where a trooper was killed in a traffic stop. I'm still haunted by that, four days later. Cops run in my family. My dad was one, my step-brother is. My uncle and my brother are sheriff deputies, though my brother is trying to get on with city police. I can't stop thinking about them.
Tuesday
Tuesday was horrible. I didn't get any sleep Monday night, so Tuesday was spent exhausted. My skin was crawling all day. I spent a little time with my grandmother after work, and then went home to relax and go to bed.
Wednesday
Was much, much better. I really love my Marketing class, but by the time he let us out at 8:50, I was dead tired. I wrote my speech for Thursday's class though, before class started and during break. My phone was almost dead so I didn't get to listen to my music.
Thursday
I had a speech last night. It went fine; I was the last one to present, so she didn't ask any questions. My friend said I did fine on it, but I was so, so nervous. I always am. She said she couldn't hear my voice shaking, which is amazing, because I always do. I wonder if I become a teacher, if I'll be that nervous all the time? Me and my friend went to eat dinner afterward, and that was cool. We're making plans to meet next week to study since we don't have class.
Oh, and I'd forgotten: I had a nail in my tire when I walked out of my house Thursday morning. It was too close to the sidewall, so I had to get a whole new tire. That wasn't fun, but it was something that had to be done.
Friday
It's Friday. I didn't want to get up this morning, but I did. I've been busy this morning, working on homework and I am almost caught up. I still have to finish my Reading Summaries for Sunday (two of four done!) and… I have a couple of papers I want to start this weekend if I can. I don't want to really do anything this weekend but catch up on my television, but I don't think I'll be lucky enough for that to happen.
Drinks with the girls tonight and five o'clock can't come fast enough.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
I'm having such a busy morning, and it's hindering my creative non-fiction writing ability. I am laughing to myself, because it's all tied in to what I've decided I'm going to write about. Ms. Smith can attest to this: none of the notebook entries I've written have really made it into my other writing (this blog, my essays). I have a difficult time with the notebook entries, honestly. It isn't the application of the entries -- I understand them and think they are a great resource. I've always got something to say, so if I give pause, I can write out one. But sometimes, I think I put too much into them. Some of my notebook entries I could probably turn around and post into this blog without any changes at all.
I don't rewrite proofs a lot. I never have. Like, for instance, my personal essay that I still need to start. I have it half written in a real paper notebook (I always start there), but it wasn't sitting well with me. I was thinking about it on the way to work this morning and got a completely different idea, out of the blue, and that's what I'm going to write the essay on, once I get the chance to start writing. And I'm working on it in my head, and have been since 7:30 this morning. I have it half written, already, in my head.
There's good to that: it seems like I'm a fountain of words. I start writing and probably fifteen to thirty minutes later, I'm finished, and really, not much changes from that. But the downside: I'm sure I lose stuff along the way. All of the shaping, and reshaping, is being down in my head, instead of from draft to draft to draft. Inevitably, I'm going to forget about something. That's why I know the notebooks are such important resources. I completely agree with that.
It's just so different than the way I do it, sometimes I have difficulty adjusting.
I write in my head, the words taking shapes like pictures, creating the story that needs to be written. I have all my main points there, lurking, waiting to come together when my fingers curl around a pen or fingertips click, click, click against the keyboard. Lay the foundation of the first main point and then zone out the slightest bit; the words really write themselves. They flow like water from my fingertips. It is a process I truly enjoy, something that I really would love to always do. There are constantly things going on in my head. They don't always make it to paper, but more often than not, they will somewhere. It really never takes much to inspire me, but I can't do much until the inspiration is there.
I don't rewrite proofs a lot. I never have. Like, for instance, my personal essay that I still need to start. I have it half written in a real paper notebook (I always start there), but it wasn't sitting well with me. I was thinking about it on the way to work this morning and got a completely different idea, out of the blue, and that's what I'm going to write the essay on, once I get the chance to start writing. And I'm working on it in my head, and have been since 7:30 this morning. I have it half written, already, in my head.
There's good to that: it seems like I'm a fountain of words. I start writing and probably fifteen to thirty minutes later, I'm finished, and really, not much changes from that. But the downside: I'm sure I lose stuff along the way. All of the shaping, and reshaping, is being down in my head, instead of from draft to draft to draft. Inevitably, I'm going to forget about something. That's why I know the notebooks are such important resources. I completely agree with that.
It's just so different than the way I do it, sometimes I have difficulty adjusting.
I write in my head, the words taking shapes like pictures, creating the story that needs to be written. I have all my main points there, lurking, waiting to come together when my fingers curl around a pen or fingertips click, click, click against the keyboard. Lay the foundation of the first main point and then zone out the slightest bit; the words really write themselves. They flow like water from my fingertips. It is a process I truly enjoy, something that I really would love to always do. There are constantly things going on in my head. They don't always make it to paper, but more often than not, they will somewhere. It really never takes much to inspire me, but I can't do much until the inspiration is there.
Friday, September 28, 2007
I'm so disturbed. I'm listening to a commercial on the radio about some speed eaters coming to town to have a championship. That bothers me more than I can ever say.
I'm not a small woman. I've battled with my weight my whole life. I'm happy where I am, but I know I could stand to lose a lot more. It's something I plan on getting to tomorrow, or Sunday, or maybe Monday (though seriously, my grandmother and I are thinking of going back to Weight Watchers together and really doing it). Some people say "If you just stop eating, you'll lose weight," or something like that. I don't eat a lot. I don't always eat the right stuff, but I don't eat a lot. Most of the time, anyway. I do binge here and there, and I have to keep myself from having chips or crackers at the house, because I'll snack a lot.
Even if I didn't have a problem with food, it amazes me how much there is. How people have speed eating contests, seeing how much they can shove in their mouths before they have to stop. To me, that sets back everything. The idea of it disgusts me and I don't know how it has come to the point where this is a "sport." How people can be impressed that someone ate 16 pounds of strawberry shortcake in eight minutes. There are people in the world that have true honest-to-God issues with food and their intake of it, and we're promoting the fact that someone can eat a lot of food in a very short amount of time.
I will never understand that.
I'm not a small woman. I've battled with my weight my whole life. I'm happy where I am, but I know I could stand to lose a lot more. It's something I plan on getting to tomorrow, or Sunday, or maybe Monday (though seriously, my grandmother and I are thinking of going back to Weight Watchers together and really doing it). Some people say "If you just stop eating, you'll lose weight," or something like that. I don't eat a lot. I don't always eat the right stuff, but I don't eat a lot. Most of the time, anyway. I do binge here and there, and I have to keep myself from having chips or crackers at the house, because I'll snack a lot.
Even if I didn't have a problem with food, it amazes me how much there is. How people have speed eating contests, seeing how much they can shove in their mouths before they have to stop. To me, that sets back everything. The idea of it disgusts me and I don't know how it has come to the point where this is a "sport." How people can be impressed that someone ate 16 pounds of strawberry shortcake in eight minutes. There are people in the world that have true honest-to-God issues with food and their intake of it, and we're promoting the fact that someone can eat a lot of food in a very short amount of time.
I will never understand that.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
My mom and dad married right out of high school. Actually, dad never made it to graduation; he left in the 11th grade, joined the Navy, and got his GED. Mom graduated and dad came home from wherever he was, married mom (in his dress blues, no less!) and moved her to Memphis, I think. I don't know if they lived anywhere else before moving to Corpus Christi, but eventually they found themselves there on the coast of Texas.
Mom was pregnant with me.
I was due sometime in October; I want to say mom has said the 8th or 9th. I know it was about two weeks before I was born. Mom's celebrated her 21st birthday on Wednesday, September 22 in the year 1976. She had a doctor's appointment that day. The doctor did his thing, and told her that I was fine and he would see her again the next week. My mother's maternal instinct made her tell him that she'd be seeing him before that.
Mom went into labor Saturday or Sunday and dad flew through the streets of the naval base in Corpus Christi to get her to the hospital. They got stopped by the MPs, who ended up escorting them. Once they got to the hospital, they had discovered that I was a breech baby. It seems like I remember mom telling me that four days prior, the doctor said I was positioned correctly, but that in those four days, I turned. I'm not sure now if she did, or even if that's possible. Regardless of if that is true or not, I was a breech baby.
She was already small, so I think they decided that a C-Section would be the best way to go. On Sunday, September 26, 1976 at 10:03 am, I was born.
My mom had been twenty-one for four days.
Now, almost thirty-one years later, I know my parents got married too young. They had all these ideas and dreams, which were dashed by the real world. They struggled for a long time to keep it together, and lasted for almost three years after my brother was born. It wasn't meant to be though; they were divorced by 1984. Dad was different than he had been, and mom changed soon after he left, if not before.
I love both of my parents, very much, and am close to both of them in different ways. But I wonder, sometimes, what life would have been like if they had waited. For one, I wouldn't be celebrating my thirty-first birthday next week. Secondly, I don't think mom and I would be as close as we are. We're friends now, and I think a lot of that is because we grew up together. She was so young, when she was raising me. When we moved to Mississippi in 1988, she was only thirty-three. She was just starting to grow up. I was eleven, and growing up too. I was a good kid, so she never had to discipline me. We settled into a relationship that was close, oftentimes far more friends than mother and daughter. Even now, if I have something I need to talk about, and I need to talk to my mom, I will go to her for advice, but I'll also go to my aunt Jane, because she really is a surrogate mother to me.
I love my mom, though. Her birthday is Saturday and she is so excited that I'm coming to see her. I got a lot of things for her birthday, but she keeps telling me all she wants is for me to come see her. And you know, I know she's telling the truth. If I showed up empty-handed, it would be like I gave her the world.
Mom was pregnant with me.
I was due sometime in October; I want to say mom has said the 8th or 9th. I know it was about two weeks before I was born. Mom's celebrated her 21st birthday on Wednesday, September 22 in the year 1976. She had a doctor's appointment that day. The doctor did his thing, and told her that I was fine and he would see her again the next week. My mother's maternal instinct made her tell him that she'd be seeing him before that.
Mom went into labor Saturday or Sunday and dad flew through the streets of the naval base in Corpus Christi to get her to the hospital. They got stopped by the MPs, who ended up escorting them. Once they got to the hospital, they had discovered that I was a breech baby. It seems like I remember mom telling me that four days prior, the doctor said I was positioned correctly, but that in those four days, I turned. I'm not sure now if she did, or even if that's possible. Regardless of if that is true or not, I was a breech baby.
She was already small, so I think they decided that a C-Section would be the best way to go. On Sunday, September 26, 1976 at 10:03 am, I was born.
My mom had been twenty-one for four days.
Now, almost thirty-one years later, I know my parents got married too young. They had all these ideas and dreams, which were dashed by the real world. They struggled for a long time to keep it together, and lasted for almost three years after my brother was born. It wasn't meant to be though; they were divorced by 1984. Dad was different than he had been, and mom changed soon after he left, if not before.
I love both of my parents, very much, and am close to both of them in different ways. But I wonder, sometimes, what life would have been like if they had waited. For one, I wouldn't be celebrating my thirty-first birthday next week. Secondly, I don't think mom and I would be as close as we are. We're friends now, and I think a lot of that is because we grew up together. She was so young, when she was raising me. When we moved to Mississippi in 1988, she was only thirty-three. She was just starting to grow up. I was eleven, and growing up too. I was a good kid, so she never had to discipline me. We settled into a relationship that was close, oftentimes far more friends than mother and daughter. Even now, if I have something I need to talk about, and I need to talk to my mom, I will go to her for advice, but I'll also go to my aunt Jane, because she really is a surrogate mother to me.
I love my mom, though. Her birthday is Saturday and she is so excited that I'm coming to see her. I got a lot of things for her birthday, but she keeps telling me all she wants is for me to come see her. And you know, I know she's telling the truth. If I showed up empty-handed, it would be like I gave her the world.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It's 9/11. I started this journal entry at about 8:11 am. I can tell you without a doubt that six years ago at this moment, I was standing in my dad's office and we were online trying to find out what happened.
I think as long as I will live, I will remember that morning -- that day, even! -- with startling clarity. It started out normal enough; I had just gotten off the interstate about five miles from the office. I was turning onto our street when Robert J. Wright came on the radio (he and Erin were on 94.5 back then) and said "We don't know exactly what happened, but there are reports that one of the World Trade Center buildings has been hit by a plane." I had just pulled into the parking lot. Turning the car off, I ran into the office.
"Dad, they said on the radio that the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane!"
In the back of my head, at this moment, I'm not thinking about the lives that were lost. It was right before eight here, it hadn't even occurred to me that it was almost nine am in New York. And I certainly wasn't thinking about a jumbo jet; for some reason, I was thinking it was a little prop plane with a guy who drank too much that morning. It was such a surreal moment, I couldn't wrap my head around anything bad.
Dad got on Yahoo! News, and it was still so fresh, all they could say was "It has been confirmed that the World Trade Center has been hit."
It started sinking in a little bit then.
My uncle called the office a little bit later; he lives in Kentucky and had just gotten off work. He was on speaker phone, watching CNN, and repeating back to us what they were saying. It was so much worse than I'd imagined. I was dazed. I can't remember if I was crying or not; I may have been too shocked to cry.
"Oh my god, another plane just hit the second tower!"
That was my uncle, who'd seen it happen live on CNN. One plane had hit, and now a second, and the entire world turned upside down. We couldn't wrap our minds around it, how someone could fly a plane full of people into a building full of people.
Dad was going to Texarkana that day, and he left shortly thereafter. I couldn't work, I stayed online most of the day, emailing and messaging my friends all over the place to make sure they were all okay. I didn't have friends in New York, so I didn't lose any, but I had one friend in particular who lost a several people that day. She and I don't talk anymore, but I still think of her today, knowing how hard it was for her. I didn't have a TV at work, so there were no images other than what was filtering through online, and I tried to stay away from those. I just listened to Public Radio all day, since they had nothing but news on.
Bush was in Florida with some teacher's conference. I was scared for him, wondering if whoever did these attacks would try to come after him. I remember thinking "I hope they don't find out where you are, I hope you stay safe." Dad had left for Texarkana, but went by his house in Bossier before leaving. He called me, the line filled with that shocky kind of laugh. It was that laugh that signals you really have no idea what's going on or how to deal with any of it.
"So Bush just flew over the house."
Dad had seen Air Force One fly over the house. Bush was going to Barksdale. Suddenly, my abstract "I hope Bush doesn't get attacked," became "Oh god, please don't let them come here and attack us." I was terrified until he left Bossier. The national news agencies didn't know where he was, but I did, and I was shaking with terror because he was in my backyard.
I went to Sonic for lunch that day, and my car overheated and died. I was scared and angry and upset about the attacks, and my car died. It didn't bode well for my emotional state.
I didn't see any of the actual footage until I'd gotten home at 5:30 that evening. I had listened to all of the carnage all day, and saw the occasional picture online, but I didn't have access to anything else. I called my friend Wendy to make sure she was okay as I was turning on the television. I broke down at that point. It had been real all day, in that vague sort of way, like a piece of cotton covering the sharp edge of a corner. You can feel it, but it doesn't really hurt because of the cushion. When I saw the actual footage, the cushion was gone and the sharp edges cut.
It's been six years. The world is a different place now than it was before. When my friends fly to see me, I can't wait at the gate for them; instead I have to hang around baggage claim until they show up. I still get a little apprehensive flying somewhere. I watch people more, hoping that I don't see anything suspicious. My brother (the Marine) is in Iraq for his third tour.
September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday. The world was muffled after that; my daze extended to the point that I barely heard anything around me. I was numb, struggling to understand how it all happened. The world was silent. I think I lived in a vacuum for several days after that. I don't think I even realized it until Saturday, when I heard a horn honk and sound rushed back in, like water filling a crevice. I looked around Airline Drive, saw all the vibrant colors, heard all the people and cars and life, and sent a quick prayer of thanks that I was still here to experience it.
I think as long as I will live, I will remember that morning -- that day, even! -- with startling clarity. It started out normal enough; I had just gotten off the interstate about five miles from the office. I was turning onto our street when Robert J. Wright came on the radio (he and Erin were on 94.5 back then) and said "We don't know exactly what happened, but there are reports that one of the World Trade Center buildings has been hit by a plane." I had just pulled into the parking lot. Turning the car off, I ran into the office.
"Dad, they said on the radio that the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane!"
In the back of my head, at this moment, I'm not thinking about the lives that were lost. It was right before eight here, it hadn't even occurred to me that it was almost nine am in New York. And I certainly wasn't thinking about a jumbo jet; for some reason, I was thinking it was a little prop plane with a guy who drank too much that morning. It was such a surreal moment, I couldn't wrap my head around anything bad.
Dad got on Yahoo! News, and it was still so fresh, all they could say was "It has been confirmed that the World Trade Center has been hit."
It started sinking in a little bit then.
My uncle called the office a little bit later; he lives in Kentucky and had just gotten off work. He was on speaker phone, watching CNN, and repeating back to us what they were saying. It was so much worse than I'd imagined. I was dazed. I can't remember if I was crying or not; I may have been too shocked to cry.
"Oh my god, another plane just hit the second tower!"
That was my uncle, who'd seen it happen live on CNN. One plane had hit, and now a second, and the entire world turned upside down. We couldn't wrap our minds around it, how someone could fly a plane full of people into a building full of people.
Dad was going to Texarkana that day, and he left shortly thereafter. I couldn't work, I stayed online most of the day, emailing and messaging my friends all over the place to make sure they were all okay. I didn't have friends in New York, so I didn't lose any, but I had one friend in particular who lost a several people that day. She and I don't talk anymore, but I still think of her today, knowing how hard it was for her. I didn't have a TV at work, so there were no images other than what was filtering through online, and I tried to stay away from those. I just listened to Public Radio all day, since they had nothing but news on.
Bush was in Florida with some teacher's conference. I was scared for him, wondering if whoever did these attacks would try to come after him. I remember thinking "I hope they don't find out where you are, I hope you stay safe." Dad had left for Texarkana, but went by his house in Bossier before leaving. He called me, the line filled with that shocky kind of laugh. It was that laugh that signals you really have no idea what's going on or how to deal with any of it.
"So Bush just flew over the house."
Dad had seen Air Force One fly over the house. Bush was going to Barksdale. Suddenly, my abstract "I hope Bush doesn't get attacked," became "Oh god, please don't let them come here and attack us." I was terrified until he left Bossier. The national news agencies didn't know where he was, but I did, and I was shaking with terror because he was in my backyard.
I went to Sonic for lunch that day, and my car overheated and died. I was scared and angry and upset about the attacks, and my car died. It didn't bode well for my emotional state.
I didn't see any of the actual footage until I'd gotten home at 5:30 that evening. I had listened to all of the carnage all day, and saw the occasional picture online, but I didn't have access to anything else. I called my friend Wendy to make sure she was okay as I was turning on the television. I broke down at that point. It had been real all day, in that vague sort of way, like a piece of cotton covering the sharp edge of a corner. You can feel it, but it doesn't really hurt because of the cushion. When I saw the actual footage, the cushion was gone and the sharp edges cut.
It's been six years. The world is a different place now than it was before. When my friends fly to see me, I can't wait at the gate for them; instead I have to hang around baggage claim until they show up. I still get a little apprehensive flying somewhere. I watch people more, hoping that I don't see anything suspicious. My brother (the Marine) is in Iraq for his third tour.
September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday. The world was muffled after that; my daze extended to the point that I barely heard anything around me. I was numb, struggling to understand how it all happened. The world was silent. I think I lived in a vacuum for several days after that. I don't think I even realized it until Saturday, when I heard a horn honk and sound rushed back in, like water filling a crevice. I looked around Airline Drive, saw all the vibrant colors, heard all the people and cars and life, and sent a quick prayer of thanks that I was still here to experience it.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I know it isn't time yet to update our blogs, but I figured I'd at least throw an introductory post up there, in case someone wanders over here. I've had an online journal on and off for the last several years, though my journal site of choice is livejournal. I am looking forward to discovering all of the tidbits of blogger.
Sometime this weekend, I will -- I'm sure -- redesign the format of this blog. Or at least I will change the colors and such. What you're looking at now may not be what I started with. I think that's one of the things I've always enjoyed about online blogging; you can change things around. When you write in a regular bound journal, you have the same paper, day in and day out. In a blog, you can change the fonts, you can link to your favorite pictures, you can post videos; you have the freedom to be as creative as you want. I really enjoy that.
Anyway, my name is Angela, and this blog was created for my english class, but I will (undoubtedly) use it often, and perhaps even beyond the semester.
(I really do need to change all the pink!)
Sometime this weekend, I will -- I'm sure -- redesign the format of this blog. Or at least I will change the colors and such. What you're looking at now may not be what I started with. I think that's one of the things I've always enjoyed about online blogging; you can change things around. When you write in a regular bound journal, you have the same paper, day in and day out. In a blog, you can change the fonts, you can link to your favorite pictures, you can post videos; you have the freedom to be as creative as you want. I really enjoy that.
Anyway, my name is Angela, and this blog was created for my english class, but I will (undoubtedly) use it often, and perhaps even beyond the semester.
(I really do need to change all the pink!)
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